Tons of dumb ideas all mixed into one post.

You can't blame me for this strength in weakness
I could never say no, no matter how much I mean it
So I'll dodge all the questions til I find some reason
To address you, and hopefully by then I'll be leaving.
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I'm probably exactly what you think I am
But I'll deny it til I die
A waste of your time or a person that you idolize
I'm never content with the things I have to show for my life.
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Medicate me with doses of divinity
Placebo effect, but miracles happen daily.
You can't explain it but there's no debating
Moment to moment we're all slowly fading away.
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There's a layer of dust on the things in my room
As I enter I breathe and the air suddenly cools.
A glass of water condensates and unknowingly ruins
My wooden bedside table,
wrought with all these excerpts from local newspapers
I've got my face and some friends all pinned up on the walls
Like we've lived stories worth telling or any impact at all
But I hope we did. Oh I hope I did.
____________________________________________
Low droned notes hold and follow the maestro
Waking up to spinning rooms and life starts to slow down
The window has been torn out of the wall.
And the people on the streets aren't moving at all
As she sits up, she can't help but stare to the sky
Colors are amazing, and she feels like she can fly
Surprised, it feels like swimming,
And she's greeted by the souls from the street and they're singing:
"Sun disappear, so I can show off my light
Our souls are releasing and we're painting the sky
You can see it in the buildings that reflect our lives
Finally, beauty is defined."

But I've been scared half to death enough times to know
That I can push my luck pretty far.
But gambling on this is not in my best interest
Cuz I can see your heart's not in the cards.

I've made a bet with myself
Not to settle down
But you're one hell of a good reason to break now.
And if all that I'd get
Was one night in your bed
I'd probably sleep well enough to forget (I've lost all of my control)

So just give in, give in, give in
Cuz I'll never stop flooding these streets with the love that I'm in
Cuz everyone should feel this way.
It's a hopeless cause
To try and stop me now
Don't try to stop me now.

Biology, please make of me
Something awe-inspiring and warmly inviting
Something I always try to be.
History, don't repeat yourself
You're a broken record
And we all wanna see you proven wrong.

Biology, assemble me
Ever piece exactly where it should be
I've got spare parts that I don't really need.
History, don't waste your breath
We know you say there's nothing left
But I'll find out all by myself.

I've been gone for a while now.

Why am I running through my neighbors' yards?
When did I even start?
(What prompted me to start?)
I just hate falling asleep alone
But I hate that you think I need you to fall asleep even more
So I'm looking at a diving board
Wondering if they'd hear me hit the water
Or if it's safe to assume I'm safe to take the dive.

Bored stiff but my limbs are fluid
A brand new feeling but I could get used to it
I am weightless, but I am a statue
Wearing a smile to add to my face value.

This is how I sleep now that you're gone.

The forecast calls for clouds tonight
But above my house there's a window for starlight
My town can't see what I see.

Shaken up but still barely moving
This brand new feeling is all that I'm doing
I am weightless, but I am rooted in place
This smile will never leave my face.

And this is how I sleep now that you're gone.

Every Time I Die inspired.

Look at the walls of these hallowed halls
Paintings and windows of all the ones who paid their way in.
Exalt in honor of those who kept the lies alive!
Keep reminding the weak of their shortcomings!
Keep them flooding in to pay indulgences
For the things they could never do without
Is it wrong to live in a world where sin is the currency of my country?

God damn, God damn them all
The pious play off our problems
And stick their necks out to speak the word of a god that they don't even listen to.
God damn, God damn them all.

Leave the stale taste of salvation in your mouth as long as you can take it.
And spit it out if you feel like the flesh and blood of a man tastes like shit.
Oh no, he didn't just go there! (He's flirting with the devil, he's flirting with the devil)
I walked through the arches of the cathedral
And I took a handful of donations
I threw it up in the air and watched the faithful dive to the floor in vocation.

God damn, God damn them all
The routine Sunday believers
The rest of the week they do what they want, but it's alright, cuz they did their part
God damn, God damn them all.

-untitled- a.k.a. I'm bad at titles

Don't worry, I inhale tornadoes
And blow out the clouds this sky is missing.
Cuz I am not afraid
Of a little rain
Or a bit of lightning, I chase bolts
To break these chains that bind me to home.

I've got this anchor wrapped around my throat
And it's dragging me down (x2)
I try to hold my form, upright and proud
But it's just pulling me
Oh it won't stop pulling me down.

And I've found a mirror
On the surface of this lake;
It's completely calm and I couldn't be any less the same
Oh, I look like hell,
But I feel even worse
Cuz this sandbank frame is stained by the trail I leave

Drop anchor, drop anchor and drive away. (repeat til end)

One day you'll see me
Free of this deadweight
With Hope on my side
But I left my Island behind.

Drop anchor, drop anchor and drive away.

Fishing the Sky

How's the weather there?
Is it colder near the coast?
Does the sun shine quite as bright as it does when you're at home?
Are you lonely?
Are you sleeping well enough?
Is there a reason you don't call, is there something you're afraid of?

For the last fifty miles I've been trying to write
To the tempo of turn signals.
And I'm not getting very far, regardless of how fast I drive.

This car is filling up with smoke
I can't see past my own nose
But it's feeding me with all the right notes.

My eyes are fighting sleep
And these headlights flickering
Aren't helping.

I'll write a book of my mistakes one day, and laugh at all the ones I've made, but today I think I'd rather forget everything. I'm in my room, the door is closed. I'm on my bed in all my clothes. The window's open but the breeze is low. I could throw my pen and paper, and I feel like it would wait there, cuz the air's so dead I might just float away.

Can I get high enough so life's just a constant drop til I'm content with it?

Can I see black so dark that light's a brand new start?

Can I stop asking questions and find the answers?

I doubt it.

I haven't really written in a while...

If you couldn't tell, but especially lyrics, which is weird to me. It's probably because my love life has taken a sharp turn towards dormancy, but I'm sure I'll get around to being inspired sometime soon (I hope).

This is what I got for the day, I'm going to try and write something every day, regardless of how trivial or out of my normal range for style. And I'm reading a lot more often, too; so hopefully I improve.

I know the world won't stop,
I've sat and watched the clock
For hours but it knows
Where we're gonna go.
And I know it won't miss my footprints
I doubt it'll make a difference
But I'm stomping hard to leave my mark
I've got a ways to go but I've come damn far.
And I haven't lost a drop of blood from my heart.

Freewriting.

From the moment Rene opened his eyes, he was already too eager it to go back to sleep. Even the crust that always covered his eyes in the morning seemed to slide off of his face and separate the shades from the window enough to display the parallel lines of life squeezing into his equally sleepy room.

This morning wasn't even different, it was routine and repetitive: work, dinner, work, practice; it's just that this morning was supposed to be special, because it was his birthday.

There were 3 messages on his cell phone's answering machine when he woke up. One was from his mother, who he loved more than anyone, and respected, because she'd put up with more than anyone should have when he was younger. He was going to visit her before work, today. The second was from two of his best friends, Dan and Adam. After Rene had left his band's practice space the night before, Dan and Adam stuck around and left Rene a message around 4 am. It was hard to understand, but Rene was pretty sure it was supposed to be a rap version of the traditional birthday song. The third message was from Rene's sister, and there were quite a few text messages to be acknowledged on the way to his mother's house.

Now all he had to do was get out of bed.